june 9th
i went back to my home town yesterday of Barker, NY and it was definitely surreal. I hadn’t been back in 2 years and yet when I was driving through it felt so normal. It’s funny how you can leave a place and then come back years later and still have it feel familiar to you. ever since i left, i’ve had this weird grudge about Barker, but being back there (and talking it out with some friends) made me realize that i really don’t have a legitimate reason. I’ve always wanted something bigger from life and for some reason i’m bitter towards Barker because that hasn’t happened yet. And when ya think about it, that’s just silly. If I’m meant for something bigger, it will happen. I shouldn’t blame Barker for my insecurity and uncertainty of the future. i think Barker has just always been the easiest target for me. basically going back there got me thinking about all this and figuring out that i really shouldn’t be bitter towards Barker. it was a good place to grow up and i met some of my best friends there. so i should just get over it! i’m growing up and who knows what else is out there but whatever it is, Barker will always be a part of my life. and i should be proud of that. i should be proud of that crazy, small town in the middle of no where 
so to top this revelation off, i did take a picture of lake Ontario while i was there. it was actually a lovely day and the lake looked pretty decent, considering how polluted it is. but its a nice image to go along with a nice town that i will now start to be proud of.
